Ack, this this is ridiculously heavy…



GET A LOAD OF MY MISERY (you might get a laugh or two out of this.)


*le sigh*

Well, this is the stained glass technique…I did all of this shit by hand…fuuuuck…

I took the reference from a little stamp that had a tree, the sun and a bird.

I only based the tree and the sun, I thought about the rest by my own…except for the clouds, I remembered a design of a cloud that I saw on a Mario game and decided to use it. (don’t ask me which one find it out on your own)…funny how we can get such odd influences to stamp them on our works, huh?

This technique is such a bitch…it takes days to make something like this…

FIRST you have to make the sketch on paper, making sure that the area is just as big as the glass. You have to keep in mind that every piece is composed of smaller pieces, just like a puzzle…because of this, adding a lot of details is not a good idea, it might just come out way too complex to be called a stained glass.

SECOND you have to…uhhh…I don’t know how to say “emplomado” in english and internet dictionaries are not helping…it’s some kind of black goo that comes in a plastic bottle and when you squeeze said bottle the goo comes out as if it were glue…it’s still too fresh when you put it on the glass so, if you fuck up you need to wait from 2 to 4 hours to let it harden and cut it out before it hardens too much and gets stuck forever on the glass.

So yeah, you need to place the glass over the sketch and release it slowly…you need to do this at the same pace at which you start, otherwise the goo is gonna make bubbles or get cut halfway through and fuck everything up, making you wait forever more until you get the stroke fucking right.

THIRD The next morning the goo should be hard, NOW IT’S TIME TO PAINT HOORAY!

not…

Not fucking hooray at all…

Now you need to buy different colors of inks called lacquers, they smell something like nail polish but ever so stronger than that. They come in an almost rainbow array of colors and each color has 4 different effects 1 of them is just the transparent color and the other 3 are texturized, each appearing thicker and different from the other. And you don’t use brushes nor your fingers or anything like that…you use droppers…you know, those small glass tubes that come inside the bottle of baby medicine…those ones…

You need to fill the dropper with the lacquer and start dropping it (ughh, this sounds so dirty…) starting on the border (on the inside) of the section that you are coloring, going from one corner to the other and then fill it up thoroughly…

YOU MUST DO THIS VERY CAREFULLY…otherwise bubbles will appear and they are such dirty sluts of a pest because they get all over the place and it’s ungodly hard to get rid of them.

Once you finish filling a piece with the lacquer you go on the next one, making sure TO NEVER TOUCH the ones you already filled because the lacquer acts as some kind of sticky fly trap and your dirty finger may end up in this place leaving a huge opaque spot on the lacquer and it’s absolutely impossible to get rid of it…and if you think that adding a new layer of lacquer over that spot is gonna fix the problem think again, the lacquer might overflow the black hard goo thing and stain areas that are not supposed to be of that color.

Once you finish laying the lacquer on the glass you need to wait at least 2 days depending on the weather to let it harden completely.

And once you go through all of these experiences with numbers of materials on the same shitting glass you swear to never do something like this ever again because you want your lost week back and only do this kind of things again on the smallest things possible like a key chain or something and once you get to be a teacher on some kind of art class you are going to take revenge on at least 20 virgin souls to quench your thirst of that anger that has been feasting on your brain ever since you started that semester exam just because your teacher thought it was “a good idea to do it”.

The End.